Fortune cookie say...

Welcome to my new occasional feature. Real rambles inspired by fortune cookies.

Actions do speak louder than... words...
and what are "talks" but many words shuttled to and fro...

It can be a daily task to decipher if words are truth, lies, or subtext. What is it we say about each other or ourselves and how much of that is true or perceived or blatantly false? In costuming we try to show what a person thinks of themselves or their job or their station in life through their clothes. Do clothes speak louder than words? Does posture?
What about the priorities we make? When we make time to pause and talk to each other, or help, or don't, what does that say about our priorities?
When there are no words, action is all that there is.
Does a lack of words speak louder than a lack of action?

Balloon!

I saw this at the San Diego Wild Animal Park... sometimes the light is just perfect for random photos...

We won't go until we get some...

What exactly is Figgy pudding? It is prominently featured in the Christmas carol "We Wish you a Merry Christmas" and yet, it is a mystery. Until today I can't say I've ever seen one or heard anyone talk of eating one. I decided to do some investigation on the topic. First via Google search and then by Dad's cookbook collection I compiled a variety of Fig pudding recipes. As per my father's teachings I wound up taking the recipe I liked the most and altering it anyway. What follows is what I distorted from the 1951 edition of The Joy of Cooking...

Step 1; chop up about 2 cups of dried figs and let them soak in about 3/4 c Rum and 1 1/4 c. hot water (I left it for about an hour)

 2. Beat together until "fluffy" (didn't look that fluffy to me)

1/2 c. butter

2 eggs

3/4c Molasses

1/4 c. brown sugar

3. Add, then mix

Chopped walnuts (I put in a fistfull, so I guess that's about 1/4c)

Figs with all the rum and water

1/2 c. milk

4. In a seperate bowl sift together;

2.5c flour

2 tsp baking soda

1 tsp salt

1 tsp cinnamon

1/2 tsp nutmeg

5. mix it all together

6. preheat oven to 325°F and grease your pan

7. bake for about 1 hour or until a skewer comes out clean

It was hard to find this pan in our cupbords... we're not much of a bunt cake family, apparently this one was my great grandmothers.

The dough tasted like molassas and rum...

Finally I made a frosting of butter, orange juice and confectioner's sugar.  There are fancier/prettier pudding frostings, but this one was tasty.

Some recipes called for boiling the pudding or steaming it for four hours, some instruct to set it aflame before serving... so who knows how authentic this particular pudding is. It tasted like Fig Newtons and rum soaked gingerbread to me, but my friends Josh and Rosie claim that it does not taste like Fig Newtons at all (I did grow up on the organic hippie version of the Newton so perhaps I am biased). Either way, this stuff was fantastic and I intend to repeat it in the future.

Credit due.

Another Nutcracker is over... Running the show is chaotic and completely different from running a show with adult actors or dancers.  We have dancers from age 4 to age "none of your business".

One of my favorite bright nine year olds has been having a hard time this year.  Every week her group continues to be called the "little girls" and the "little ones" and as I sat quietly in the corner sewing or taking fitting notes I could hear her mumble in a quiet voice, "we're not that little, give us a little credit!".  Her class is indeed on the ball whereas the same level last year was sometimes problematic, I can see why she feels a bit underestimated.

Today I sat with one of our awesome helper moms and she looked over at a group of these young ladies and told them how amazing they were doing, their eyes lit up a little, and how they "look just like big kids when you're really so small." The light in the eyes turned into a little flame masked with fake smiles...

I looked over at them and remarked "Well, they really are the big kids.  In a couple of years they'll be pre-teens" Awesome helper mom looked at me and said "I suppose you're right, I hadn't thought about it like that."  Instantly all smiles were real and I had become their favorite adult.

Win!

**Not only was I mostly too busy to take any photos,  I just don't think it's appropriate to take pics of stranger's kids to post on my blog so please enjoy the awkward photoshop drawing... at least it gives me a little practice with this new program.

morning brain...

I woke this morning to the sound of Paul Simon and thought "that's odd... I love this song".

I fought with my arm falling asleep while I was half asleep and finally a loud song by the Ting-Tings startled me again.  I realized that I was Supposed to be awake. All that music had been planted... by me!

I've engineered my early morning alarm so that about an hour before I should wake up a thunderstorm starts my playlist... not enough to wake me up but enough to push my dreams forward, then slowly the list cycles through quiet "please wake up" songs like Oliver Mtukudzi's 'Wake Up' and Paul Simon's 'Diamonds on the Soles of her Shoes'.  Eventually the list turns loud with Prince and U2, hopefully by this point I'm feeling the need to get up, if that all fails the lists gets worse and worse until I am listening to Miley Cyrus and Band Aid.


I know it sounds complicated, but a normal alarm is so easy to just turn off (or throw across the room) while still in a dream state, rendering it totally ineffectual.  Every time it goes off I forget that there is a reason to be awake.

There is a fog that takes over my brain and it just doesn't burn off until about 10am.  My brain is the Pacific coast.

Yawn

There are times when the life of an artist is excessively boring. To the outside observer it looks like every day is non-stop craft time that must be endlessly exciting and fulfilling... There are moments where I stop and think "holy crap I love my work!" but then I am reminded of the 15 pairs of white polyester pants that need to be hemmed and the stinky dance bodices that I must clean again in hopes of reducing the years of body odor that have become an integral part of the arm pits. I stop and think about invoices to send and clients who continue to be late in paying... There is the continuous job hustle. There are long stretches of time where the creative work gets put on hold for the organization and alteration jobs.

I would never ever give this up for a desk job but mostly these days I lack things to blog about because seven days a week have been this;

get up,
eat breakfast,
go to work,
go to more work,
dinner,
gym?
work,
screw around on the computer,
read?
sleep.

Holiday work will eventually give way to more exciting things and a quick vacation in SoCal later on should be a good thing, but until then, forgive the quietude of the blog.

Happy Thanksgiving...

I believe in creative lattice work. Sure, I could follow the Joy of Cooking recipie, I could make a perfect Martha Stewart lattice top for my pie, but it has no soul. My pie is different every time. I add at least one new secret ingredient to the pie each time... these have no less than three secret ingredients and a few not so secret (a 1/4 cup of Laphroiag whiskey... yum!)

Some families have the exact same Thanksgiving year after year and they are happy with the perfectly honed orchestra of food. I salute them, but I prefer variety. I prefer exploration.

Either way, pie is amazing!

P.s. Family and friends trying to call me; I forgot to charge my phone... it will be on soonish. Love You!

Cold

I have been reduced to wearing socks indoors.  This practice distresses and confuses the dog.  He knows that I do not put things on my feet unless I am going out.  'Why oh why is the human putting things on her feet and not taking the dog out? '
Why indeed.

Recovery and Slacking...

I've spent most of this month, and this past week in particular working long hours without days off. I don't really notice until finally there is a point where productivity drops off or when I have a half day. This was my half day. I had about two hours of work to get done that didn't happen until this evening. This morning was spent catching up with The Daily Show in my pajamas... this afternoon was spent at the Berkeley Marina reading my Alastair Reynold's novel... I love this place.


Hopefully a half day will get me through another week... life in the arts is so glamorous.

Old Windows

Artifacts find a life of their own as time takes its toll,

layers of paint, wear from light, and wear from use

make that which was once mundane beautiful and unique.

New Blog...

I've added a new blog to the call list on the side... I when I was reading this last night I was laugh/crying because I had to laugh quietly at 1am but wasn't doing a very good job at it. Oh my sides, the pain, the hilarious pain... Click HERE to read "Hate spiral" and then explore the rest of this fantastic blog...

Berkeley Love

Some days my little city has some awesome people in it... This guy just decided to hang out here for an hour waving at everybody on the street. No fliers, no schpiel, just this sign.

Breaking up is hard to do.

(paraphrased somewhat)

IC: Oh I'm so sorry to hear you're leaving us. This month was our 8 year anniversary!
A: Uh-huh
IC: Can I ask Why you're leaving?
A: I just found someone who can give me more
IC: You mean for the same price?
A: less actually
IC: Well maybe we can rethink this, make it better
A: No I just don't think so. Every time I need you I just can't depend on you
IC: We just got together with someone else... maybe we can ask them to make you a deal
A: I've already asked for a new quote. Just cancel my damn auto-insurance policy and stop calling me.


Why is it auto insurance wants to make you feel like you're a jerk breaking up with them? I'm sorry; What have you done for me lately? Nothing! You take my money and when I need help I can't afford it. Buh-Bye!

--Meh!

More evidence of my Mom's awesomeness

I confess, I keep every letter I ever receive. I've kept notes passed to me in high school. I've kept misspelled Valentines from 2nd grade... so sue me. I also keep other random papers if I really like them, like this;

In college I got very sick and my mom flew out to take care of me, while recuperating we played hangman... only that stick figure guy is just too predictable... these are the more creative ways of killing stick figures with words.

I think this explains a good deal about me. Thanks for indulging me Mom.

Random internet stumble...

Traffic was slow this Sunday evening. Between the Folsom street fair, a Giants game and the usual Sunday tourism it took a long slow crawl to get to the bay bridge... but I tell you it is impossible to get road rage when the road looks like this;



I love San Francisco.

Growing troubles...

I have the most sickly looking tomato plants I've ever seen... and yet they are fecund.

Yes this one is supposed to be yellow... I wonder if perhaps I didn't give them enough dirt to grow in... The lemon tomato plant even had a couple of branches just rot off towards the stem...

The cherry tomatoes seem to be doing better...

Anyone out there know anything about growing tomatoes? Advice would be appreciated for next year.

Catalina

I spent a day on Catalina with my best friend this weekend. Getting to SoCal I had two flat tires on the way down the state followed by one of the replacements being flat by morning... so my car's doughnut had its maiden voyage on the way to the ferry. There was minor panic about actually getting there but we got there with enough time to grab good seats.

The water was warm (nearly 70F!) the ocean was calm.


We didn't see any unusual wildlife for the area; mostly kelp bass, sardines and garabaldi... but the water was perfect and clear.
At one point I was floating there marveling at the giant kelp that is as beautiful as any land based forest on Earth, when a swell came and swept a great mass of kelp over me. I love kelp. I love swimming through kelp, it was so fantastic I started to giggle. Giggling in a snorkel mask leads to breaking the seal of the mask and consequently swallowing a good deal of salt water. It was still fantastic.


--all photos and video on this post were taken by my friend Shaggy (underwater cameras are cool)

Carmel after...

It was a long week in Carmel. I wound up only spending one night sleeping next to the creepy gnomes. I find that I am allergic to the backstage there. I needed to take Claritin every day and still walked away sneezing with puffy eyes whenever I had to dig through storage. The show itself I took only a half dozen photos of on my film camera, so I will most likely need to beg for photos from the company... I honestly wasn't content with the look until first preview. Ultimately the show turned out to be not so bad. Thank goodness I had actors and a director I adore. I suppose that's it for now.
Sometimes there is little time for reflection when you are barreling forward at such a hard pace.

Random knick knacks

for Tech week the theatre is putting me up... tonight I am sleeping next to these creepy gnomes...

apparently when you are old and live in a place without street sweeping you need one of these;

That is all... now I sleep (if the gnomes don't come to life and eat me)

tech haiku

I'm In tech again
soon I shall be a human
but not soon enough

Still behind on the show but fortune smiles on me and allows me a little extra time to prepare tomorrow. When working on a show a very typical question is "so what are you doing after this?" To which I can now answer... "I'll be sleeping eight hours a night, walking to work, reading books and kayaking in the Pacific ocean with my best friend" Senioitis can be dangerous, must continue to concentrate this week.

brevity 5

Aside from a regrettably unproductive day it was also rather theatrically traumatic... sigh. Had to put down my still very very behind schedule show to tend to other clothing disasters.

Dead Stock

When a garment is left unsold and unworn it is called "dead stock" and remains intact in some mysterious land with tags attached until one day it surfaces from a warehouse or a vintage store... I purchased a pair of dead stock pants for my latest Shakespeare show... solid proof that Polyester is evil...
The same company responsible for Agent Orange, Round-up weed killer, and various other products of the future making the earth uninhabitable for humans helped to develop Polyester and in fact guaranteed it for a whole year...


One year seems rather unambitious for this Polyester. The archeologists of the far future are likely to be digging it up in a Poly-plastic-strata that will form to mark our epoch on this planet.

brevity #4

Still dreaming about work. If my marathon were a week I would be in the middle of Wednesday. If my marathon were a marathon I would be staring at my wall hitting me in the face. Must find positive things to concentrate on. Must push past wall...

dream stitcher...

I've been dreaming about sewing. I've been dreaming about making to do lists. Times when I'm not sewing or shopping are times when I have to think about sewing or shopping... I should also do the paperwork and invoicing that need to be done to make all of this insane schedule pay bills rather than make them all late. My social life is sewing with my dog. Movies I watch are background while I work. I suppose it's time to sleep again. I hope I dream about tropical islands or travel, flying, hell I'll even take that murderous clown that sometimes makes repeat appearances in my dreams, please please anything but sewing.

Brevity #3

Still drowning in work. Got caught in a classic car parade trying to get to work in my filthy Honda Civic, it was the worst possible annoyance of pollution, conspicuous consumption and tourists all making me excessively late to work. Got stuck in the gridlock trying to escape town. Trying to edge off of my tipping point.

Brevity #2

Another 14 hour work day.
I'd lose my head if it weren't attached.
Downtown looks eerie at 1am.

Brevity is the soul of wit?

Today I saw a beautiful journal in the book store. It was that perfect size, just smaller than a paperback and about as thick. Bound in a hot-pressed bristol cover and gold along the edges, it smelled of freshly pressed paper. "A line a day Journal; a five year memory book"... beautiful. It tempted me, and yet it was $16 and started in January... seems a bit wasteful. What is more is my resistance to twitter-think; I guess I'm torn. The short format can be beautiful. It can be haiku, it can be simplicity... but on the other hand there is the common usage of "going to the grocery store" "can't wait for that TV show that I love to come on" where it becomes difficult to distinguish between insight and inner dialogue. On the other hand it gives you little excuse to shirk on writing Something every day... I think I shall try it here-- for free nonetheless! So possibly not every day, I think that even when I don't manage to take photos that I want to share, I may try posting more often with quick posts.... they shall be tagged with "brevity" and will likely be three lines or less.

For today;

Feeling downtrodden after working through the night and still being hit in the face with disappointment in the morning; I mended my soul with a change of venue. A dinner at my favorite sushi restaurant helped. It's odd how stuffed shrimp and hamachi can make things feel a little better.

photos

I got a random package in the mail from my high school. Back in the day we had headshots that were posted in the lobby of the theatre to let everyone know who was in the company... and here are mine;

I still look a lot like I did at 17. Perhaps I shouldn't moan and roll my eyes as much when bouncers ask to see my ID... I mean I don't think I look like a 17 year old, but perhaps this proves otherwise...

I thought it might be funny to try and reproduce these unnatural poses... the tilted glamor pose was almost do-able
I couldn't get my mouth to do this again though... at least I look a little older than 16 year old me...

Lists

I copy Josh Tate now in pure indulgence...




Things I do not like but others seem to enjoy;
1. Snow
2. sledding/skiing/winter "fun"
3. hard candy
4. Sorbet or Gelato
5. breaded fried things (tempura/funnel cake/country fried "steak") (fish and chips are an exception)
6. Peets coffee, or Sarbucks coffee... ick both burnt substitutes for good stuff.
7. John Steinbeck
8. Halloween
9. Fruity alcoholic beverages
10. Disco (people don't admit to liking disco until you insult their precious ABBA, Donna Summers or BeeGees, and then true colors come out)




Things I enjoy that most people don't
1. Carob
2. Sherbet
3. designing menswear
4. orange and black as a fashion choice not Halloween wear
5. swimming through kelp
6. the cassette deck in my car
7. making lists!
8. working with stage blood/gore
9. smokey dark peat-y whiskey (ok mostly manly men like this and then there's me)
10. Black Licorice! (esp the salty stuff)

Summer in June!

One year I froze my butt off at Stensin Beach, another year I froze in Santa Cruz, there was one time I tried to plan a picnic by the lake and it was grey and cold all day.

I am a summer baby. All of my childhood birthdays were in the sunshine, with watermelon, rhubarb pie in the front yard, or by the pool, running around in short sleeves!

It makes me perpetually miffed that June 28th is usually bloody cold and grey in the bay area. Last year I ran away to Idyllwild for some guaranteed summer. This year it was summer. This year it was warm walking through the redwoods. I was quite happy that the weather colluded with the date this year.

Why Dogs are Awesome

Seriously stuck in traffic... driving at 2mph (maybe) and going nowhere... and then I get a glance in my rear view mirror and see this dog LOVING life... also stuck in traffic wearing a cone. Instantly I feel better about sitting in traffic. At least it's a lovely day. Enjoy the breeze.

Haight homes...

"Architecture is the learned game, correct and magnificent, of forms assembled in the light. "
Le Corbusier- Swiss architect 1887-1965

Dear Joe, I'm not sure this relationship will last...

I have a problem with Trader Joe’s. The more I shop at Berkeley Bowl and the Farmer’s Market, the more it bothers me. They ask you to bring in your own shopping bags but then almost everything in the store is severely overpackaged and nothing is local.

Roma tomatoes come in hard plastic boxes, zuccinis come shrink wrapped on styrofoam trays, Carrots that have been pre-peeled and sliced come in plastic tubs and cost three times more than a 2 pound bag of unprocessed carrots. You can buy delicious Indian lunches that come in sealed bags that have been packed in boxes and portioned just enough for one person. All manner of frozen veggies are available with little globs of seasoned butter included, also in serving sizes for one or two people… because throwing a handful of greenbeans in a sauce pan with water, rosemary and butter is too hard!

This brings me to the second problem I have with Trader Joe’s… everything that has been pre-packaged three times over is all ready to heat and eat. So much of it is little more than a glorified and improved TV dinner. It is helping to perpetuate the helplessness of the urban dweller. It encourages shoppers to think “I don’t have time to cook” “I don’t know how to cook, it’s too hard”. Seriously! I am not a gormet chef but from the need to eat economically I’ve learned how to make a few really good meals. Salads are not difficult but you can still buy those in a bag. Is it because it’s too time consuming to wash lettuce, and chop up a few veggies?

There are so many Americans who just don’t cook for themselves, they have no idea about what they are shoveling into their mouths, there is too little thought about food and nutrition. There is too much thought about calories and suppliments. TJ’s also has an amazing array of cheap vitamins by the way, because after all eating a balanced diet is just too hard… you will need to be ‘healthy’ and add these pills to your diet. Despite the good things about TJ’s I just can’t deal with how much of it is fully pre-packaged and designed to allow consumers to feel good about their ignorance.

I’m torn. On the one hand they do sell a lot of tasty things that I enjoy, but when I went in yesterday I wound up leaving with my bottle of cheap wine, a pint of sherbet and a seltzer water. All of the overpackaged produce in number 5 plastic containers (my city only recycles numbers 1 and 2 plastic) just made me ill.

Be sure to bring back your canvas bag to carry home all of the small plastic bags that your food comes in… you don’t want to kill the earth do you?

Up with Natives!

Pollen.
Itchy eyeballs.

Lethargy.


Fills me with arsonist rage against the horrid Australian trees that line my street.


Last week I went to two national parks that were filled with nothing but California native flora... look how pretty...

... the whole time I could smell dirt and flowers and everything...


Sigh. There is little to be done. I may just join the Native Plant society out of selfish purposes though...