Wednesday, January 25, 2017

Best Seller

I write you from a time that I still could. I've read enough of the dystopian future to know this too will possibly get shut down. Freedom of press, freedom of speech, freedom in general is about to go underground. Today George Orwell's novel 1984 became a #1 best seller. Everyone wants to be prepared for the propaganda machine. For the double talk (Newspeak in the novel), for the authorities to tell us to deny the things we see with our eyes. This dystopian present is for the birds though. If I had my choice of fiction to live in it would be the Star Trek one where we've all learned to get along and are exploring space having philosophical discussions about interfering in under-developed cultures... sadly here we are. Hey Big Brother... here's my blog.

Thursday, December 1, 2016

Can uke help me?

This year. This month. I believe it has many times been compared to a huge "tire fire" and I must say that isn't far from my experience. My fellow humans seem far uglier than I had ever thought before. My frustrations with being in a new place... deaths of heroes and the pending fall of Rome (so to speak). I have decided to become a ukulele player. That part isn't the tire fire but rather the only balm I can find for my aching soul and the knots in my stomach. Sweet tones, easy tunes and geared tuners! Geared! I used to play the violin and holy cow; gears and frets make this tiny guitar easy as pie. Quite rewarding. I once learned to play Bella Bartok on the violin, compared to that learning One Love on the uke is much like an easy trip to a Hawaiian beach. 

Wednesday, April 20, 2016

The final month.

In some ways I feel that the blogosphere has been mostly abandoned... thus this becomes more of a livejournal than a blog anymore. It's 5:30 in the morning. I am freaking out about graduating. On the one hand I'm more concerned about the time after graduating. I can't go back home. I left because I couldn't work there anymore and my love life was non-existant.  I left because it's too expensive and there is no way up without abandoning the arts. I left because the quality of my profession felt low... I miss home so much but it is gone.
So Now I'm looking at moving to a new place where I know very few people and I have no job offers. (panic)
Today I was hoping to finish my classwork so that I can move on to my thesis... but I could not. I was falling asleep (irony; no?) SO now I can't sleep because I'm also worried about finishing my thesis... while I'm in tech. I chose a piece with a lot of scenery. I'm excited about it but what if it's too much? Fuck!

Also; I'm about to lose the new home I've come to love. I'm going to lose all of my new friends to all corners of the world. I'm about to lose my studio-mates. I'm about to lose my libraries and shuttle rides, my costume shop, my book store.
I have to start all over again.  I'm so sad, and anxious. Even though these past three years have been full of frustrations, injustices and stress they've also had friends and art and amazing unexpected turns.

Thursday, February 25, 2016

Bret C. Harte

My Friend Bret would have been 36 years old this March, but he died in 2005. He was one of those beautiful lights that just truly made the world a little better. I remember going to this dive bar in Oakland with him, a piano bar where the walls were decorated in old business cards from years and years of patrons with a piano perpetually out of tune, and we would stay out and discuss Shakespeare. We wanted to do a Tempest together since it was our favorite play at the time. He was just starting his directing career while working odd jobs and I was trying to gain traction on my design career. I remember working backstage with him, even on rough days he brought his warmest smile. So Now it is nearly his birthday and also nearly his deathday and I think of him. The last piece of writing from him that I have is a printed out email.  I was most upset to find that it's not still in my archives... I publish it here to leave for the wilderness of the internet to find. You were and still are so loved Bret.

March 17, 2005;
Hey there everyone!
it's short notice, but; 
What're you up to Friday night? I met this (very attractive) lady on BART last night who was carrying a sword, so I asked her "is that a sword?" and she said "yes it is." and I said "why do you have a sword on BART?" and she said "it's for bellydancing" and I said "Oh it's a scimitar" so she said "yep" and I said "do you know Angela Mae Thompson she's a fuckin' great bellydancer in the area" and she said "no" but I said "is that the only style you dance" and she said "yes, but it's not traditional, were' kinda a modern take on bellydancing so it's a bit more hip" and I said "kewl" and she said "here take this we have a show this weekend" and I said "keeeeeewl" and she said "yeah I also fire dance" and I said "you a burner" and she said "but of course" and got off the train. 
(no I didn't get her name or number)
So, I have this flyer for what looks to be a killer bellydance show on Friday and Saturday night . I can't go Saturday 'cause I'm working a BRT show where Danny Glover is giving a speech... whee!
So, whatcha doing friday?
Come see a killer show with me in SF!
Who's down? IF you need, I now have a crashable couch (and large cushy loveseat) here at my nifty new OakTown (aka Oakland) apartment. :)

I'm glad to say that yes, a good group of us took him up on the bellydancing show and it was amazing, we all danced like lunatics, we passed 'energy balls' (it's an acting excercise) on the dance floor. It was a beautiful night, and it was the last I saw my friend.

My lesson is this; appreciate the people you have in your life, say yes, love them every day and tell them as much. You will never regret it.

Monday, November 23, 2015

I want to...

Sometimes it's fun to play with predictive Googling... 

Not really sure why people are searching for "I need to poop" rather than "where is a bathroom" but the internet is an odd place. 

Videotapes? Who has videotapes anymore? Is this left over from the days of VHS?
 Really? You require this?
Oh My.

Tuesday, November 10, 2015

Oh Hey There...

Apparently I never logged out of Blogger. I've been here all along... somewhere between grad school and social media the blog lost its draw and then earlier today I thought "I hope my blog is still there". As I near the end I begin to remember the things I used to love. I used to go to the dog park all the time (I used to have a dog I could borrow) I used to write musings on this tiny forum for a few special people to see but with the possibility of anyone really to stumble across. So here we are, and I'm not sure I have my thoughts together enough to really be worth reading. It's a good thing probably most people who used to read this have given up on me for now. It's nearly 4am and I'm wide awake. I started doing homework for a sound class which was my first mistake. The prompt was to find music or sounds that give us chills. On the one hand finding music that makes me feel chills is easy. On the other hand now I'm full of feelings because of all the emotional chilling sounds I've been listening to. Finally I made a mixed cue composed of cat purrs, Mozart, Brian Stokes Mitchell and Demi Lovato. I miss having afternoons off to just drown myself in my music collection, and to play with the dog, and to cook. I'm ready. There are still miles to go before I can grab that piece of paper written with fancy Latin words and run back into the world but I'm ready.  Trying to savor what I've got right now, but also eager to start the next adventure.
Will I write again soon? Hopefully. If you're reading this, don't give up on me totally... I'm surfacing.

Monday, May 5, 2014

Avocado Face mask?

I'm totally into using all natural ingredients for beauty care... but every time I read about avocado face masks I just imagine myself as a dog with a delicious treat on his face... must... not... eat...