Wednesday, April 20, 2016

The final month.

In some ways I feel that the blogosphere has been mostly abandoned... thus this becomes more of a livejournal than a blog anymore. It's 5:30 in the morning. I am freaking out about graduating. On the one hand I'm more concerned about the time after graduating. I can't go back home. I left because I couldn't work there anymore and my love life was non-existant.  I left because it's too expensive and there is no way up without abandoning the arts. I left because the quality of my profession felt low... I miss home so much but it is gone.
So Now I'm looking at moving to a new place where I know very few people and I have no job offers. (panic)
Today I was hoping to finish my classwork so that I can move on to my thesis... but I could not. I was falling asleep (irony; no?) SO now I can't sleep because I'm also worried about finishing my thesis... while I'm in tech. I chose a piece with a lot of scenery. I'm excited about it but what if it's too much? Fuck!

Also; I'm about to lose the new home I've come to love. I'm going to lose all of my new friends to all corners of the world. I'm about to lose my studio-mates. I'm about to lose my libraries and shuttle rides, my costume shop, my book store.
I have to start all over again.  I'm so sad, and anxious. Even though these past three years have been full of frustrations, injustices and stress they've also had friends and art and amazing unexpected turns.