I want to...

Sometimes it's fun to play with predictive Googling... 

Not really sure why people are searching for "I need to poop" rather than "where is a bathroom" but the internet is an odd place. 

Videotapes? Who has videotapes anymore? Is this left over from the days of VHS?
Curious...

 Really? You require this?

Oh My.

Jokes from Nigeria...

This is verbatim from my  junk mail... made me laugh!

 

Central Bank of Nigeria,

Plot 33, Abubakar Tafawa Balewa Way

Central Business District,

Cadastral Zone,

Abuja, Federal Capital Territory,

Nigeria

P.M.B. 0187,

Garki Abuja.

Nigeria

 

Dear Beneficiary,

"RE-CONFIRMATION NEEDED URGENTLY"

 

This is to bring to your notice that the Central Of Nigeria has been delegated

from the United Nations to pay 100 Nigerian 419 scam victims US$3, 000,

000, 00.each, You are listed and approved for this payment as one of the

scammed victims, get back to me as soon as possible for the immediate

payments of your Three  Million united states dollar compensations funds.

On this faithful recommendations, we want you to know that during the last UN

meetings held at Abuja , Nigeria . It was alarmed so much by the rest of

the world in the meeting regarding the lose of funds by various foreigners

to the scams artists operating in syndicates all over the world today, in

other to retain the good image of the country, The president of the

country (President Goodluck Ebele Jonathan.) is now paying 100 victims of

this operators US$3,000,000,00. USD each, The payments are to be made by

FIRST INLAND BANK NIGERIA PLC (finbank), a corresponding paying bank under funding

assistance by the Central Bank of Nigeria (C.B.N.).

According to the number of applicants at hand,84 beneficiaries has been

paid ,half of the victims are from the United States, we still have more

16 left to be paid the compensations of US$3,000,000,00. each.

Your particulars was mentioned by one of the syndicates who was arrested

in Lagos Nigeria as one of their victims of the operations, you are hereby

warned not to communicate or duplicate this message to any body for any

reason what so ever, the US secret service is already on trace of the

criminals.

You are to receive your compensations payments via any of the below listed

options:

(1) THROUGH BANK TO BANK ONLINE TRANSFER

 

(2) THROUGH BANK DRAFT DELIVERY.

 

Let us know the choice options mentioned above you require to be paid, we

shall feed you with further modalities as soon as we hear from you.

All further correspondence should be forwarded to this office such as your

 

Full name-----

 

Contact address------

 

Your bank account name/number  (for online transfer)-----

 

Valid means of identification-----

 

Direct telephone number for easy communication between us----.

 

We use this medium on behalf of the Federal

Republic of Nigeria to apologize for the inconveniences this might have

caused you in the past.

 

 

Your Funds were returned to the Federal Government Treasury some while ago

because you did not finalize your claim for it. A week ago, the Presidency

and The Federal Executive Council collectively agreed to release the sum

of US$3,000,000.00 to you but to our surprise you sent down your

representatives Mr. Tim Parker and Mr. Rowland Gulf to collect this Funds

on your behalf, this morning.

 

For the fact that this Committee is faithfully in my full governance as

the Honourable Paymaster General of The Federal Republic of Nigeria, i

will like you to give me the authority to transfer your Funds into their

own Bank Account in Singapore (Asia).

 

 

We await your immediate response via email and telephone.Reply to:

(cbngovernor03@gmail.com)  and telephone  +2348089711490

Officially Sealed,

Yours faithfully,

 

Dr. Sanusi Lamido

Governor, Central Bank of Nigeria (CBN).

Men in Tops

This photo makes me smile for so many reasons...

Here's the article if you're so inclined...

Google humor...

Forgive my lack of actual photos these days... I'll get back to it soon...

Doctor, I'm thinking about starting a new excercise regime...

Really, just read this.

Just in case you thought your eyes went all crazy, here let me make that last part larger.

(I found this on my tea box.)

Español frase del dia...

Best of Spell

I have seen so many different ways to misspell my name... this is by far my favorite.

I've got this nasty habit of saving little scraps of paper if I think they're funny or have some sort of sentiment attached to them... I think putting them online will allow me to simply throw them in the trash like a normal non-hoarding type person.

Fail blog...

Stole this from my friend Nick...

(Seen in Vancouver, Canada)

New Blog...

I've added a new blog to the call list on the side... I when I was reading this last night I was laugh/crying because I had to laugh quietly at 1am but wasn't doing a very good job at it. Oh my sides, the pain, the hilarious pain... Click HERE to read "Hate spiral" and then explore the rest of this fantastic blog...

Random internet stumble...

Dark Humor...

I am a Muppet person. I've always been a Muppet person. Disney is meh, ok... but since I was a small child (my mother claims I loved the Muppet movie from within the womb) I have been a Muppet loving, Roald Dahl reading, Chekhov watching kind of a girl. Its healthy to be able to look into the dark abyss and Laugh maniacally at it. If you despair, that's it, you've lost. When you can laugh at the worst day, you know it has not defeated you. I say dark humor is the best humor, and as proof I offer the following evidence;

And the winner for best porn title of a non-porn book goes to...

I know... the illustration doesn't support my non-porn claims, but I did give it a good skim in the thrift store and the plot summary doesn't sound too racy (although hard to follow)
... Published by Lancer Books...

oh my.

Ah smut...

I got this old book for a friend of mine. The cover made me laugh...

but for some reason this disclaimer on the back made me laugh harder...

How could I resist?

How to Launch a Cat

I took a quick trip to the museum in LA this weekend...
The best thing I saw at the Getty was this book illustration;



painted circa 1500

Dogs love Photo booth!

What ever happened to X?

Sometimes you wonder what ever happened with an old friend of yours... and then Facebook puts it in perfect perspective;

Really? Recession?

Who's brilliant idea was it to put this up in downtown Idyllwild?
And what were they thinking?!

Real Men eat pancakes...

I stole this from my friend's Facebook page. He took the picture on his trip to the Phillipines...

bah!

...15 days to go and I'm not really feeling very Christmas'y.
Christmas ads irritate me with the perpetual "buy buy BUY some love" Santa this, Santa that..., Christmas music irritates me because it's mostly cheaply produced crap that you'd never listen to at any other time of the year but from November 1 to January 1 soulless corporate robots insist on piping it through every store they own. Christmas decorations irritate me because 80% of them are just so cheap and tacky and what's worse is that they mostly end up in the trash contributing to global warming, pollution and land-fill crisis... I'm not saying ALL decorations are tacky, but all I need to prove my point is to have you step five feet into any craft store this month and you'll see it. Oh and let's not start on Christmas movies. Now there are some good ones, but every year there are some b-list celebrities staring in a pointless Christmas drama that the lifetime network will pick up and play residuals of for years to come... yet again things that you'd never haul out of the closet if it weren't Christmas...
Anyways, despite my Grinchitude I am going to try and be "merry" or whatever... here's my Christmas greeting for the day today;

This is CNN?

I just had a moment that needed to be shared... here's the image capture from CNN;

The #2 top story is "Joan Baez is happy". This is a headline for The Onion. Either Joan Baez' publicist bought a little screen time or Joan Baez has been so immeasurably miserable for Years that "Joan Baez is happy" beats Obama's plan for fixing the economy... Congratulations Ms.Baez I had no idea.