Recovery and Slacking...

I've spent most of this month, and this past week in particular working long hours without days off. I don't really notice until finally there is a point where productivity drops off or when I have a half day. This was my half day. I had about two hours of work to get done that didn't happen until this evening. This morning was spent catching up with The Daily Show in my pajamas... this afternoon was spent at the Berkeley Marina reading my Alastair Reynold's novel... I love this place.


Hopefully a half day will get me through another week... life in the arts is so glamorous.

How to make a rough tech week better...

1. Go find the ocean

2. Commune with nature

3. Take your best friend with you

aah much better.

Wrong Turns

Sometimes I get so lost...

I think I know where I'm going and then slowly it sinks in that, in fact, I have no idea of how to get there...

I can see vaguely where I want to go... but then there's this ocean in the way...

I've found it best to take a moment and breathe. Laugh at how lost I am and enjoy where I've landed.

Reading

You know that feeling you have for the radio when you get dumped? Suddenly you realize that every song is about love or heartbreak. I find myself listening to nothing but 24/7 classical and NPR because it's safe. I've been feeling like that with all printed media and news sources these days. I don't want to hear about the next thing I'm supposed to be freaked out about, I don't want to hear about the crappy economy because I KNOW. Yes, my bank account and I are well aware of the economic slump. It seems like there is just so much conflict in everyday life that I can't even read fiction these days.
All of the books on my "to read" pile have been gathering dust.
All I do these days is draw.
Obsessive compulsive doodles, graphic weirdness... I guess it's a way to work my brain without giving me another thing to worry about. If the hero will survive or not is just one more problem my brain doesn't care to deal with these days.

this one goes out to my sister...

yea, too busy to make a real post, but here's a shout out to my stressed out sis who's breathing smokey air in San Diego county. Love ya Kelly-bug!

service please...

I took myself out to breakfast today. As I was glancing over the menu I thought, "I could make most of this at home myself, why did I want to come here?". What's more is why haven't I felt like cooking anything in a month? Why is it I've been eating nothing but cereal at breakfast? As I sat there stirring cream into my coffee I realized that I've been spending way too much time catering to everyone else's needs. At work I'm making sure that twenty two people are dressed, pressed and polished for the stage. At home it's just me and the dog, since my roommate's out of town, and I'm busy making sure that he's fed and walked and happy. I think it's been too long since someone asked me what I need, so really just going to the cafe and having somebody check on me to ask if I had all the correct condiments or enough coffee was exactly what I needed. Someday I'll find a balance for all of this... I hope someday soon.

Dirt and stress

What a day! I spent the morning working for the Aurora Theater, and then snuck out at 2pm. I washed and vacuumed my car for the first time in over a month (ick!) and then I set to work on my "garden". I did not take a "before" picture because I hadn't initially set out to accomplish quite as much as I did.
It began with the lavendar bush. The shrub had taken over half the sidewalk so I initially set out to reduce it. I started cutting and found that the branches were all full of leaves and weeds. I ripped out dead sweet peas and an errant blackberry sprig. I raked out dead lavendar and grass. Then I began clearing away the grasses along the base of the bush, which lead to ripping out clumps of grass from what once was a flower bed. Then I decided that the rose bush right next to the lavendar had become too unrully. I trimmed it away from the hose spigot and then I trimmed the branches that had taken to growing along the ground.

Meanwhile the ants began to swarm and spiders tried escaping up the front wall of my house, I almost felt a bit squeamish thinking about them all retreating to the inside of my house. I treated the wall with some Chinese "death chalk" and continued.

I trimmed back the mint that had grown to weed status where it all bears thick stems and rough unuseable leaves. I continued to clear almost all the way to the place where you can see in the picture what looks like a hot mess of weeds. Then I planted the sweet basil plant that had been gifted to me over three weeks ago. It should be much happier in its big oak barrell than it was sitting in a small pot in the midst of our weeds.
The physical labor that did not resemble theater work and the final product that came from it actually improved my mood threefold. Which is a good thing because despite the fact that this was my "day off" even CalShakes insisted on sending me emails that had to be answered "immediatley"... eye twitching here... back spasiming just a bit... I think I have to go back outside and spend some time staring at the front of my house again. When I get a little more time off I'm going to plant something new in there and finish the job.

I made Pie

The phrase is that something is easy as pie does not apply in my attempt to actually carve out time to make this pie. I bought rhubarb on Wednesday and it has been too chaotic to actually get to the kitchen and cut it up into pie size bits. I'm tired and mostly tired of the insanity at work this week, so instead of bringing it back home and plopping my baggage onto the internet, I thought I would just share how beautiful my pie finally turned out. It tasted just as good as it looks...