Thursday, December 1, 2016

Can uke help me?

This year. This month. I believe it has many times been compared to a huge "tire fire" and I must say that isn't far from my experience. My fellow humans seem far uglier than I had ever thought before. My frustrations with being in a new place... deaths of heroes and the pending fall of Rome (so to speak). I have decided to become a ukulele player. That part isn't the tire fire but rather the only balm I can find for my aching soul and the knots in my stomach. Sweet tones, easy tunes and geared tuners! Geared! I used to play the violin and holy cow; gears and frets make this tiny guitar easy as pie. Quite rewarding. I once learned to play Bella Bartok on the violin, compared to that learning One Love on the uke is much like an easy trip to a Hawaiian beach. 

Wednesday, April 20, 2016

The final month.

In some ways I feel that the blogosphere has been mostly abandoned... thus this becomes more of a livejournal than a blog anymore. It's 5:30 in the morning. I am freaking out about graduating. On the one hand I'm more concerned about the time after graduating. I can't go back home. I left because I couldn't work there anymore and my love life was non-existant.  I left because it's too expensive and there is no way up without abandoning the arts. I left because the quality of my profession felt low... I miss home so much but it is gone.
So Now I'm looking at moving to a new place where I know very few people and I have no job offers. (panic)
Today I was hoping to finish my classwork so that I can move on to my thesis... but I could not. I was falling asleep (irony; no?) SO now I can't sleep because I'm also worried about finishing my thesis... while I'm in tech. I chose a piece with a lot of scenery. I'm excited about it but what if it's too much? Fuck!

Also; I'm about to lose the new home I've come to love. I'm going to lose all of my new friends to all corners of the world. I'm about to lose my studio-mates. I'm about to lose my libraries and shuttle rides, my costume shop, my book store.
I have to start all over again.  I'm so sad, and anxious. Even though these past three years have been full of frustrations, injustices and stress they've also had friends and art and amazing unexpected turns.

Thursday, February 25, 2016

Bret C. Harte

My Friend Bret would have been 36 years old this March, but he died in 2005. He was one of those beautiful lights that just truly made the world a little better. I remember going to this dive bar in Oakland with him, a piano bar where the walls were decorated in old business cards from years and years of patrons with a piano perpetually out of tune, and we would stay out and discuss Shakespeare. We wanted to do a Tempest together since it was our favorite play at the time. He was just starting his directing career while working odd jobs and I was trying to gain traction on my design career. I remember working backstage with him, even on rough days he brought his warmest smile. So Now it is nearly his birthday and also nearly his deathday and I think of him. The last piece of writing from him that I have is a printed out email.  I was most upset to find that it's not still in my archives... I publish it here to leave for the wilderness of the internet to find. You were and still are so loved Bret.

March 17, 2005;
Hey there everyone!
it's short notice, but; 
What're you up to Friday night? I met this (very attractive) lady on BART last night who was carrying a sword, so I asked her "is that a sword?" and she said "yes it is." and I said "why do you have a sword on BART?" and she said "it's for bellydancing" and I said "Oh it's a scimitar" so she said "yep" and I said "do you know Angela Mae Thompson she's a fuckin' great bellydancer in the area" and she said "no" but I said "is that the only style you dance" and she said "yes, but it's not traditional, were' kinda a modern take on bellydancing so it's a bit more hip" and I said "kewl" and she said "here take this we have a show this weekend" and I said "keeeeeewl" and she said "yeah I also fire dance" and I said "you a burner" and she said "but of course" and got off the train. 
(no I didn't get her name or number)
So, I have this flyer for what looks to be a killer bellydance show on Friday and Saturday night . I can't go Saturday 'cause I'm working a BRT show where Danny Glover is giving a speech... whee!
So, whatcha doing friday?
Come see a killer show with me in SF!
Who's down? IF you need, I now have a crashable couch (and large cushy loveseat) here at my nifty new OakTown (aka Oakland) apartment. :)

I'm glad to say that yes, a good group of us took him up on the bellydancing show and it was amazing, we all danced like lunatics, we passed 'energy balls' (it's an acting excercise) on the dance floor. It was a beautiful night, and it was the last I saw my friend.

My lesson is this; appreciate the people you have in your life, say yes, love them every day and tell them as much. You will never regret it.