Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Hide your shame... Please.

(this blog post is rated PG-13 for strong language)

I've got to say it... what's with all of the spandex/ lycra/ skin tight clothes?  Tights are Not pants.

I look around and it's sometimes like living in a nudist colony with spray paint.  Sometimes someone can really pull it off with a great body that will look good in anything, but people please! Fat people Please!  Hell, moderately fat people... Please!  Just say no to the skin tight from head to toe look. 

New Rules;

1. no super skinny jeans may be manufactured in a size larger than 10 (and for the record, my fat ass is in this category.  Nothing personal, It's just wrong)  Gentlemen larger than a 34 waist (and I mean really you think you're a 32 but pull out a tape measure...) no skinny jeans for you!

2. Super-mini skirts over your nasty celulite showing (and obviously too small) tights do not fool us.  They do not make you look cooler or thinner, I don't care if you are 18 years old... step away from the mini skirt. 

3.  If you can look down and see the freckles through your clothes, turn around and put some damn pants on!

4. Rule; If we can see the fat above and below your bra or waistband; Your clothes are TOO SMALL. Go buy a bra with a bigger band size, a shirt in the next size up, pants with a larger waist  ... and those Spanx that you think are helping so much... they are just squishing your fat up.   

If you follow these simple rules, we will all be happier.
Thank You. 


The Sauce said...

Amen. Don't get the tights as pants phenomenon. Not flattering on ANYONE. preach it.

Anonymous said...

The teen had 'punk' across her butt - UNDER the black tights... SIGH! New category, The People of COSTCO.

L said...

Eek, well. I'm sorry to be the dissenting opinion, but my thoughts on this issue are best summed up by this: http://www.alreadypretty.com/2010/09/shouldnt-wear-that.html