A strange year to be sure

 

After nearly a year of strikes, I find my life is in another odd place I don't feel that I fully belong. I look back on my old life with such longing knowing that it is gone and all I have is now and whatever is still to come. It's strange to be floating around though, not sure what is missing, what I'm truly longing for. Somedays I'm so content and others I'm lost. Doing the things I thought I should in life haven't paid off and it really kills ambition for most things. 

Hello old friend.

I miss Blogger. It seems like a lonely place now that the Book of Face has taken over easy communication of friends. But this was a place where I had longer and slower talks. I met new people. I travelled to Antarctica and Tanzania through my fellow Bloggers posts. I'm not quite ready to give up. So here I am just dropping in to say hello.

The unseen

What this photo doesn't show you; the statue of liberty just to the right, or the humidity in the air that makes me feel like I'm walking in soup. It doesn't show the sweat dripping from my clothes or the project I just finished for work. It doesn't show my concern for loved ones back in California, or my lost hopes hovering somewhere above that horizon. But sometimes it is good to let everything fall to the sides and just enjoy one beautiful sunset over a beautiful river. Let all the things that you don't see be quiet, just for a moment.

The promise of Spring

The buds of May, the buds of April... soon these trees will be full of blossoms. 

This is always the hope. This is always the promise. It's not guaranteed, but it is most likely. 

 You must enjoy what you can when it is possible...

Summer Blues

 I discovered that it only takes 30 minutes to get to Coney Island from my apartment. It takes longer to get to the library or Prospect Park... so today in my deep dark funk I went for the second time in two days. I may go again tomorrow. Yesterday it was grey and humid and gross but the beach was semi-free of people. Today it was sunny and beautiful and people littered the beach. That's the thing about New York. There's nowhere to go and be quiet. The most quiet place is my apartment but I don't want to sit at home all day, so I go out and try to find a place that is less noisy. I tried walking to Manhattan Beach and found mansions on the way and another beach even more packed with people. I took a moment to sit in the grass at a church. I was sure a security guard would make me leave but no one bothered me. I walked back to Brighton Beach and along the shore until the sun started to set and people started to leave, finally a patch of sand that wasn't jammed with people opened up. I just sat and watched the waves. I tried to not think about how noisy everything is and how plans don't seem to work out. I just tried to not think about the racists taking over the country and the megalomaniacs running the country and how any day I'm just going to see a flash of light and a loud noise and everything will be different. Just watch the waves. Just keep breathing.